She held on to anxiety, fear, rejection, the fear of failure, shame, hurt, and lies. That road was familiar to her and was her home for many years. That road she traveled brought a form of comfort and security to her...that road was slavery.
That road had left her heavy laden, broken, and in a constant state of despair. Even though that was all she ever knew, there was a sweet voice that echoed in the wind..."There is another road."
She tried for many years to chase after that voice. However, that voice could not be tamed by a chase. The voice only seemed to be tamed as she sat still. Stillness though was not her comfort. She wrestled against stillness as she danced with perfectionism and busyness.
She became quite the performer as she grew up. She played the parts well, honor roll student, a friend to all, captain of the cheerleading squad, sorority sister, Bible study leader, daughter, teacher, and wife. She had everyone fooled, even herself.
She thought she could live on that road as long as she sojourned, after all that road was her home. What about the voice that told her differently? The voice that told her that there was another road.
She grew up only seeing one road. How can there be another road? Logic and comfort kept her from seeing the other road. She kept running thinking that at some point on the road there would be a crossroad.
After over three decades of running, the crossroad appeared after she had caused her beloved to weep and feel dejected over the years by her hurling insults.
She never meant to hurt him. He was a gift from God that she earnestly prayed for and dreamed of her whole life.
Being a wife took her by surprise. She did not expect how hard it would be to act. The other roles did not require her to be vulnerable or intimate. The other roles she knew would only be for a season.
This role was different. She had made a covenant.
When the crossroad appeared, there were signs on this road that were not on her other road. The first sign her eyes grazed was yield. She didn't know how to yield, or even what that required.
She immediately wanted to ignore the sign and keep on running. What about the voice?
She was tormented. The other road now stood before her, but was unfamiliar. The other road was not her home.
